Clive for PM

Posted on: May 3, 2013

Well, things have been interesting at UAP HQ. While some preselections are done and dusted, others are in no uncertain terms open.

Warwick Capper still rings on a daily basis playing hard to get, insisting ‘we both know you want me in the tent’. Notwithstanding the unpalatable thought of being in am actual tent with the Bogan Baron, his use of political speak is at once pathetic and earnest. Clive suggests we harness his wave of enthusiasm while it lasts before he goes into downturn. If anyone recognises short term ideas, it’s Clive.

Clive wants the NDIS. Pretty simple. What’s not so simple is his demand to drop taxes for personal and business scales to attract more business and inspire confidence. How this swims in the same stream as fiscal rectitude is beyond my cognition. While he calls flat tax proponents ‘fucking geese’, it is still unclear if he has concrete tax plans.

His analogy?
‘Reading the Henry Report isn’t the only way forward for tax reform. It’s like saying reading the Fifty Shades books makes you a better lover.’
Thanks for that image Boss.

Beyond this, I can relate the following ideas for our official UAP Campaign Launch.

– on the steps of the Opera House: ‘look how many turned to see Crowded House’. Yyyupp ok.
– in front of Tony Abbott’s house (Ill advised, especially as his furniture has already been moved to Kirribili Storage)
– at Luna Park with the world’s Guinness Book of Records BBQ

But we all know he’ll launch this campaign of a large vessel with a captain’s hat on.

‘People need to know who the skipper is y’know luv?’

Yes Clive.


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