paforclive

UAP, sorry PUP Policy Update

Posted on: May 15, 2013

Well it’s been difficult keeping up with the journos asking questions while sniggering, Clive beaming after announcing a Rose or Jack (or both) are on the way, and Tom Waterhouse ringing for inside info on the possible names. You’d think the prat would have more pressing concerns.

Add to this Peter Slipper being in then out, accepted then resigning but no he was rejected because Clive thought he was a mole.

I’m getting about as much sleep as a Catholic priest on his fourth parish.

Clive has declared his appearance on Q&A ‘a fucking success’, and much credit must go to the big man. After his demands of Janet Albrechtsen hosting, only him and BobKat on the panel and a strict rider of Chiko Rolls and M&Ms were left unmet, he soldiered on. It’s a pity he forgot to switch out of campaign filming mode to say what he really thought, to show some fire and soul. I’ve personally seen more grunt from a Kia Cerato. His self appraisal is shall we say different.

Clive did get quite animated though when it came to registering the UAP with the AEC. Who knew that the Uniting Australia Party had already registered in March? Undeterred, Clive went left-field and humble, and as of now we are the Palmer United Party (PUP). I’m hoping no smartarse extends the acronym to PUMP for any of his MPs should they get in. But then as Clive says, names aren’t important, it’s ideas that matter.

Ah yes. Ideas. Clive has an alternative asylum seeker policy. Quite rightly, he wants to take the business model out of people smugglers’ hands by flying asylum seekers into our airports where their refugee status is assessed. If they pass, they would be integrated, and if not, they would be flown back on the next plane. I’m curious to see how much of the $5B saved by not chasing boats around the Indian Ocean & dehumanising camps would be eaten up by these airport based processing facilities. I’ve asked Clive how he intends to house that many people, to which he touches his nose and winks. ‘All up here luv.’
Oh Gawd.

Running parallel with the gestational timeline is Clive’s desire to be PM. It will come as no surprise to hear that he believes the centre of power should be shifted away from Canberra further north, specifically Coolum. ‘The Kirribili of the fucking north luv!’ He booms. ‘Question time followed by 18 holes!‘ Yes Clive, I’m certain the Federation Fathers would approve.

Clive has raised the idea of me running for a seat. Playing dumb, I insist that I am happy in my current role. I admit though that I would relish the chance to run for Sturt, just to see the Poodle’s eyes pop when I debate him. Clive boasts that there sitting MPs ready become PUMPs, but I’m skeptical. The phone’s not exactly running hot with applicants outside of QLD.

So we plod on. Clive has already requested (demanded) a tripartite debate series with the PM, the ‘knob’ as he calls him and Clive.

No prizes for his preferred host.


Please direct PUP related questions my way via my twitter handle @PAforClive

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1 Response to "UAP, sorry PUP Policy Update"

If I had not just moved out of Sturt I totally would have voted for you

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