paforclive

Today we sorted through the myriad candidates applying for UAP preselection since Clive reinflated the concept.

The BobKat and Clive twin threats have certainly forced some cranks out of the undergrowth they’ve been living under.

Warwick Capper is one of the more sane applicants, which should indicate the treacle I’ve had to wade through.

Some of the applicants (with key points) include:

Keith

-42 year old truckie who wants preselection in any state of SA, NSW or QLD as he drives through all 3 states on a weekly basis
-‘the bastards who represent their constituents are only there every other month so I’d be more easy to talk to and stuff. They can ask me whatever the fuck they want’
-lists his address as: cabin of my Kenworth ‘Loretta’
-couldn’t give ‘rat’s toss bag’ about the carbon tax
-wants immigration increased so we can fill the spaces and get this country going again with big country towns

Colleen from Byron Bay
-58yr old Greens voter with a thing for rich altruists
-once cleaned Sir Joh’s office
-ready to take on more then just running a herbal soap shop on weekends
-once shared a joint with Brendan Nelson after they shared similar views on same sex marriage
-feels there is no need anymore for states and boundaries

Barry
-77yr old retired doctor from Charters Towers
-married for 58 yrs with 5 kids & 13 grandkids
-pro RU486
-wants legislation passed banning Tom Waterhouse’s image being seen anywhere
-rejected by the Bob Katter Party for being too liberal in his views

Nathan
-24yr old law student
-thinks the tax system should be based on a 15% flat tax & GST of 20% with no other taxes
-wants at least 50 of the IPA’s 75pt wish list carried through
-will only join the UAP if Clive signs this last point

So as you see, the entry of Clive & Bob into the political marketplace had certainly spread the available talent thinner than a Brazilian Samba dancer’s G-string.

I may as well get all the applicants in a room, throw 120 rocks in the air and sign up the fallen. But we’ll spare Warwick. He’s had enough head injuries in his time.