Northern Exposure

Posted on: June 21, 2013

Yep, we get it Tony. We’re a bloody big brown land that is crying out for exploitation. Especially north of Cameron’s Corner. Ore to be dug up, gas to be fracked, and all the infrastructure to support it. But even Johnny had the sense to see how zappydoo crazy the idea of a separate and distinct tax zone sounds. And he was no slouch as a populist.

Your White Paper estimates a possible $150B in clean efficient energy exports from measures to develop Australia’s ‘next frontier’. Hmmm I don’t see Gina liking that last sentence with the word clean in it. Don’t forget the soundtrack from any of the Duke’s movies to give us that ‘next frontier’ feel while you’re at it. It’ll go well with the low wages Gina has decreed for the ‘special tax benefit zone’, so special in fact that you don’t pay tax in peanut wages. And with peanut wages there’ll be little GST revenue flowing in from discretionary spending. But you and Joe have crunched all the numbers haven’t you? Goodie gum drops.

I can appreciate your desire to satisfy economic rationalists everywhere, their jowels dripping with anticipation and impatience for a reverse Gough change. Wasn’t Ju-Liar going to be bumped off early Tony? Why are we waiting? I mean, the country is just crying out for greater productivity (shit wages) and efficiency gains (shit wages + longer hours).

If you are so keen to plunder the virgin north, why not solar panel a prescribed area where the solar energy could supply the north, or even beyond? Hope you’ve explained to land owners how you’ll stop foreign companies from exporting the produce their capital creates. But you’ve got the balls to stand up to owners of foreign capital don’t you Tony? You’re a rugger-ride all day-physical sorta bloke aren’t you?

Listen, the ALP givernment has been a mess and is clearly on the way out. They have tried to maintain jobs and fund infrastructure your last government seemed reluctant to get involved with. Goodwill generated in guiding Australia through the GFC (yes we know it was 5 years ago, thanks Joe) has been replaced by derision at their internal bullshit.

But is this the best you have for us Tony? A Travelling North type feel good recipe that satisfies Gina and creates tax inequities by geography? (not to mention a de facto Workchoices at work)

Add this to your risible and comical NBN and yet-to-be-confirmed turn-back-the-boats-to-a-country-we-haven’t-discussed-it -yet policy and we feel, well, a tad uninspired. No amount of pamphlet branishing and declaring át least we’re not them’ BS will convince me otherwise. God knows you’ve had long enough to develop policies. Instead you’ve devoted untold resources to destroying a government that was doing a pretty good job on their own. Pretty dumb Tony.

Paul Keating was right Tony when he asked ‘is that all there is?’


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